Ever caught yourself talking to inanimate objects or sneaking a peek at your ex’s social media? You’re not alone! This article dives into the quirky, sometimes embarrassing, but always relatable things we all do when no one’s watching. From pretending to be in a music video while doing chores to practicing conversations in the mirror, we’re uncovering the secret behaviors that make us human. Get ready to laugh, cringe, and most importantly, realize that your ‘weird’ habits are actually pretty normal. Join us as we celebrate the funny, awkward, and downright bizarre things that unite us all in our shared human experience.
1. Lowering The Volume So You Can See Better
Have you ever been jamming to a song, and you turn into a parking lot and need to turn down the volume to help you find a spot?
Turning the volume down definitely does not improve your vision, but psychologically you believe it helps.
2. Pretending To Consider Buying Something That Is Over Priced
When you go shopping, and the price of an item actually shocks you, but you can’t leave the store yet because you don’t want to look like you can’t afford it.
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It is even worse when you have already decided not to buy something, but you are still browsing, and a sales associate comes over to you. “Can I help you find anything?” “No, Jessica, prices here are too expensive.”
3. Pretending You Are In A Music Video When You Listen To Music With Your Headphones On
You have definitely done this one. You are sitting in the car or on public transportation listening to music when “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton comes on, and you instantly feel like you are starring in your music video.
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“Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass, and I’m homebound.” You are transported to your own little world where you are a star, and there is always background music to your life.
4. Being Extra Nice To Airport Security To Not Be Suspicious
When you go through airport security and feel like they are looking at you suspiciously, so you act extra friendly to the TSA employees. They never thought you were suspicious, but now they might.
Now you are being pulled out of line for a full-body inspection because what normal person is extra friendly at three in the morning.
5. Taking A Break From The Computer To Check Your Phone
Have you ever been on the computer searching Facebook, and then you take a break and look at Facebook on your phone? Maybe different things will show up on the app rather than the webpage.
You think it is a break from the internet, yet the internet is still in the palm of your hand. So, you are never really taking a step away unless you put your phone and computer away full.
6. Mumbling The Name Part During “Happy Birthday”
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (inaudible name), happy birthday to you.” When you go to someone’s birthday gathering, but you only met them a few times, so you forget their name when it comes time to sing them “happy birthday.”
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Hopefully, your sudden change in volume isn’t noticeable to everyone standing around you.
7. Bringing A Book To The Beach And Not Reading It
If you really think you are going to read the book that you threw in your beach bag, you are wrong. You will most likely spend your time tanning, in the water, or on your phone.
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Leave the book at home and save space for snacks, water, and extra sunscreen. Those are more important than throwing in a book that will never be touched but will get wet and sandy.
8. Sitting In Your Towel After The Shower For Too Long
You get out of the shower, put on your towel, and sit on your bed. Somehow, an hour goes by and you are still sitting in your towel.
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You might be playing on your phone or just staring at the ceiling, and for some reason, the time you sit at your towel goes by faster than standard time.
9. Using Songs To Measure Distance
When you go to the gym or go running outside and you use songs to measure distance. Even when you are driving, you can measure how far something is by measuring the distance.
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“How far is your drive to work?” “It’s about 5 songs.” It makes no sense to other people, but to you, it is clear as day.
10. Feeling Relief When You Come Home To An Empty Hour After Work
It is not that you don’t love your family or friends, but sometimes it is nice to have a few moments alone every day. It is nice to be able to get first dibs on the snacks or to pick what you watch on TV.
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You might even just sit and enjoy the peace and quiet because you have been surrounded by people at work all day and you just want a moment to yourself.
11. Lying To Your Doctor About Your Alcohol Consumption
“Yeah I only have one or two beers a month, tops.” Your doctor knows you’re lying, you know you’re lying, so what’s the point. If you only have one or two drinks a month, it seems rather suspicious.
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Be honest with your doctors, and when all else fails, get better at lying. One drink a week sounds more probable than one a month.
12. Accidentally Sending A Screenshot Of The Messages To The Person You Are Talking About
Have you ever texted someone and then screenshotted the conversation to send to someone else? But instead of sending it to another person you send the screenshot back to the person you were originally texting.
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There is no way to pretend like you weren’t going to start talking about that person behind their back. It is extremely awkward and you should just own up to it at that point.