A lack of money or entertainment doesn’t stop us from being happy. It’s actually our toxic habits that sneak up on us and steal away our joy. It’s high time we shed light on this issue because if you know what you’re doing wrong, it’s easier to take the first step in stopping self-destruction and making room for happiness.

Bright Side suggests that you get rid of the following 8 habits. You’ll also find some tips on how to start changing the rules surrounding them because our happiness is something that we’re solely responsible for.

8. You shut down your feelings.

We are often told that we shouldn’t show any unpleasant emotions. This story usually starts in childhood — we hear things like, “Don’t cry” or “Don’t be sad about that.” Little by little, we learn how to hide our negative emotions, but this behavior usually results in a worse life experience.

According to experts, struggling with our negative emotions makes us numb to positive emotions too because we can’t choose what we want or don’t want to feel. It also leads to poorer communication and relationships and affects many parts of our life — it’s worth mentioning that emotional shutdown can result in a number of health problems. There are many non-toxic ways to let our feelings out, for example, dancing is one of them.

7. You don’t let yourself make mistakes.

Let’ not forget that even some life-changing inventions were created by accident. A pacemaker, a microwave oven, and even penicillin are among them. More to the point, it seems pretty cool to say that you’re a perfectionist on your CV. But does it really make you any happier in real life?

We don’t think so, because you are constantly trying to reach an ideal, but it doesn’t actually exist. And even the smallest mistake can bring you down and result in anxiety, eating disorders, and other health issues. You have to let yourself be wrong and change your perspective on failure. To make your new path easier, just remember Thomas Edison’s words, “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

6. You prefer to be a victim.

We aren’t trying to say that thinking about our past or future makes us unhappy, but it’s better to avoid getting stuck there. Dwelling on the past usually shows that there are some unresolved issues that keep weighing you down. While focusing entirely on the future means that you have a problem with anxiety.

Moreover, this study showed that people who focus on the present are happier and feel more connected to others. There is a simple exercise that can help you live “right now:”

Focus on listening. Try to notice every sound — far, close, quiet, or loud. Pick out distant sounds and sounds that come from silence. Then move to exploring smells — strong and light, smells that come and go. Watch the clouds drift. Try to notice as much detail as you can. Describe the shapes to yourself.

In your opinion, what other things separate you and your happiness? What helps you to overcome these issues?

Illustrated by Yekaterina Ragozina for Bright Side3