Every day, we meet the representatives of different professions starting from bus drivers and postmen to doctors and pilots. Most often, our knowledge about what working with people is like is quite superficial. Meanwhile, they have a lot of things they would like to share with us — from useful tips and warnings to cries from the heart.

We at Bright Side appreciate the work of those whose work is connected with people, that’s why we decided to give them a nod today. We have collected the professional tips, secrets, and claims of the workers who, for whatever reason, can’t talk about them openly.

Waitress. I work in a fancy Indian restaurant. The changeover is very quick. I’ll spray and wipe the table, but I might not always sweep if there isn’t much of a mess. Pizzeria worker. The more items you get on your pizza, the fewer of each item you will get while still being charged the same price per item. Worker in the meat department of a supermarket. Hopefully, things have changed, but our manager was insistent on using past due meat to make burgers, sausages, etc. I once got in trouble because I threw out the ammonia scented chicken tenderloins that had expired 2 weeks prior, rather than grind them up for chicken patties. Restaurant worker. Don’t go to a restaurant within 30 min or so of its closing time. The cooks have already cleaned in an attempt to go home — at best you’re getting the scraps left on the counter, at worst, well you’ve pissed off the cooks. Farmer. When they say you should wash your produce thoroughly at home, they’re not joking. Bartender in a pub. Everything comes in frozen to pubs: soups, curry, cakes, bread, Sunday dinners, meat, fish, chicken. So that really nice meal you got where the chicken had the nice char-grill marks on it and everything was so juicy… I microwaved everything and shot the chicken on the grill for an 30 extra seconds. I laugh when people say, “Oh, so you’re a chef?” Haha. No, I’m a microwave technician! Guide. Frankly speaking, leading a tour is an uphill task. In the best case, only 30% of people are listening to you, some geeks might start to debate, touch everything around them, or get lost, while you need to continue doing your work and not get distracted by the chaos around you.

Hairdresser’s husband. My wife hates it when girls with 12-inch long jet black hair with split ends come in and expect to leave an hour later with bright blonde hair the same length. Crowd scenes actor. In shows like the Walking Dead, not every zombie goes through the same makeup process. We have 4 “tiers” of zombies. The select “hero” walkers, who have the full prosthetics and interact with the cast, the “mid-walkers” who get spray painted all sorts of deathly shades but not much else, the masked walkers, who, well, wear a mask, and then the back walkers, who don’t have any makeup at all, just the clothes. These clothes are rarely washed and you wear the same outfit for weeks sometimes. And to get the makeup off? Shaving cream. At the end of the day, we’re all herded to the shaving cream station to rub it all over us and wash it off with water. It actually works really well. Photographer. Some clients say, “Yes, I can edit photos.” My heart cries bitterly and my monitor explodes from shame when I see the photos edited by these people. It’s even worse when these masterpieces are published on the internet and they credit you as the photographer. That’s kind of a “double kill.” Cinema industry worker. When a movie trailer has shots that turn out to be “missing” from the actual movie, it’s not because scenes were cut. Those shots never existed in the movie. The trailer didn’t test as well as they wanted, so the studio inserted scenes specifically made for the trailer during “additional photography.” Radio worker. Nearly every caller you hear on a top 40 radio station is either an intern or someone else close to the studio, everything is fake.

DJ. Most EDM DJs are not doing anything by turning that knob during their set. Some DJs just push play and have all the music preprogrammed. The dancing and fake knob turning is purely for your entertainment.

Maid. I worked in a hotel, and while we did wash the sheets and pillowcases between guests, the comforters and blankets were a different story. They were washed just twice a year — once in the spring and once in the fall. Guide. Whether you like it or not, me and the driver will get you to a souvenir shop because the company we work for makes us do it. Oftentimes, souvenir shops give the guide and the driver a pack of sweets or some cash as gratitude. This is all because there are so many souvenir shops and they are doing their best to try to get clients. Hotel administrator. The best way to cancel your reservation without getting charged if you’ve waited after the cancellation time, is to call first and say you’d like to change your stay to a later date, then call back within a few hours, (Hopefully getting a different clerk) and the cancellation fee will be bypassed, because there’s now a new cancellation time on the new date.

IKEA worker. No IKEA sofa bed is designed for everyday sleep. It’s not announced anywhere in order to not decrease sales. All sofa beds are positioned as guest beds. Therefore, if you are picky about your sleeping space, think twice before buying a sofa that you plan to use as a bed. TV worker. A lot of people probably know that when a TV show goes into syndication, some scenes will be cut from episodes to make them slightly shorter, to fit in more commercials. What people don’t know is that the show can be slightly sped up as well, to squeeze in just a little more advertising. Bank worker. If you are wondering what’s taking me so long to process your loan application, it’s probably because I forgot about it. Teacher’s husband. A couple of times a year, when she is absolutely buried in work, I will take a stack of essays and grade them for her. I sit down with an ink pen and get to work. I’m throwing out A’s like Oprah’s giving away cars. It’s a good time and those little hooligans better appreciate it.

Surgeon. Sometimes surgeons Google how to do things while they’re already in surgery. You’re welcome.

Teacher. At the beginning of each course, I have to memorize a lot of names in a very short period of time. Usually, I do this by making notes next to each name on my attendance list. Some of these notes could probably get me fired if anyone found out. Teacher. Sometimes students are given a better grade than they should get because we are too tired to really give a shit anymore. Sometimes they are given a worse grade because of this, but those teachers suck. Sales associate at a cosmetics store. The products in our store are normally $50+ and I can’t afford them, so when people ask me how they work I lie as hard as I can. HR at a popular clothing retail company. We were told we weren’t supposed to hire people based on their looks, yet we would get in trouble for hiring unattractive people. Customer support employee. Printer ink cartridges are meant to signal that they’re empty after a certain number of pages, even if they still have some ink left. Post office worker. The word “FRAGILE” on a box means nothing to us, so make sure you pack your stuff properly. Bus driver. If you’re the only one standing at a stop served by multiple routes and I’m a bus that you don’t want, signal to me that you don’t want my bus, so I don’t have to waste my time stopping for you. Shake your head, turn away from us, step away from the stop, or something. Flight attendant. I ALWAYS recommend that you never, ever, ever, EVER use or put anything in the seat pocket. They are cleared of the rubbish, but are never “cleaned.” I have pulled out and seen all sorts of things from there. Dirty tissues, sick bags, underwear, socks, people’s feet, gum, half sucked sweets, apple cores… and then on the next flight, you go and put your phone/laptop/iPad in there.

Aviation journalist. If you are able to request a special meal, go for the kosher option, so you know it was prepared that day.

Pilot. I discovered that some low-cost airline companies will set the humidity on the AC to a lower value than normal, to just the minimum legal value, this will make you more thirsty and more likely to buy drinks or water at their absurdly high prices.

Freight train conductor. We have to blow the horn at EVERY street crossing. So no, when we’re coming through your neighborhood at 3 AM, laying on the horn, we aren’t doing it to be jerks.
Also, we have speed limits too. So when we’re moving really slow through town, holding up traffic, we aren’t doing that to be jerks either.

Are you aware of any secrets that your profession has, that people outside of your specialization would never guess? Please share your professional secrets with us and our readers!