As sad as it may be, we have to accept that the world isn’t always a safe place, especially for women. And being aware of that can help all of us be prepared in case we end up in a potentially dangerous situation. Some women had to learn first-hand how to react in these cases, and they’ve decided to share their experience in hopes that it will help others in the future.
We at Bright Side hope, as well, that you’ll never have to face anything that could harm you. But if you do, you can be better prepared and know how to handle it.
1.
2.
Always order 2 meals and use a male name if you live alone. Ordering one meal is a tip off that you are a woman home alone and could put your safety at risk. Saturday night, after dark, I ordered from a meal delivery service. I provided instructions on how to find my apartment and asked for the meal to be left on my doorstep.
I heard the knock at my door, went to the window, gave the delivery guy a thumb’s up, and watched him head down the stairs. When I opened the door the delivery guy was waiting for me a few steps down from my porch, he really startled me.
He explained he likes to wait and make sure the food is collected. Then he started berating me because he was irritated with my instructions on how to find my apartment. I engaged with him for about a minute and then brought my food inside. In hindsight, I feel a mix of furious and foolish. How dare that delivery man wait for me, startle me, and then scold me!
3.
4.
If a guy on the bus brushes against you every time the bus sways, loudly tell him to stop touching you. Don’t ask. This serves 2 purposes. It puts him on notice that you’re not intimidated by him (even if you are) and he’s looking for a victim. Second, people will notice if he follows you off the bus, his anonymity is gone.
This goes for any situation where another person is making you uncomfortable. Loudly and clearly tell them not to touch, stare, talk, etc. It’s not your problem if they’re embarrassed. Don’t apologize, don’t ask. Don’t make a single thing they do look consensual because you don’t want to make a scene.
5.
6.
I really want to share what happened a few days ago, because I am so in awe of my own reaction. The place I am living in is very quiet, the surrounding area is large and partly industrial, partly surrounded by nature. Last Friday some uni students (my age) threw a huge rave party maybe 100 meters from my place. I decided to just go and have a look — because I was curious. I didn’t want to mingle, just wanted to see what was going on and return to my place.
When I entered the space of the party, one guy approached me, asking whether I was alone. I just automatically said, “No, I’m not alone.” “Whoa OK. Are you sure?” I go: “Yes, I am sure” Him: “OK. Hey, I’m just going to follow you now.” I took a long, hard look in his eyes and said: “No, you’re not.” He says: “Yeah I am.” and nods with a smile. I go: “No, you’re not.” I don’t break eye contact at any point.
My body is facing him fully frontally — and I don’t have the urge to turn away. I just look at him calmly. Silence. Then he goes: “Why not?” I say: “You have no reason to follow me.” We just look each other in the eyes for a couple of seconds. Then he raises his arms in a surrendering manner, smiles at me, and retreats. I just turn my back to them and walk back to my place.
7.
8.
Always keep your car keys next to your bed at night and if you hear or see anything crazy, push the panic button on your key. It should make your car alarm go off and dispel any would-be intruders from entering. Also, wasp spray shoots a straight line of eye hurt 15 to 20 feet. You don’t want anyone getting close enough for a taser or to hit yourself in a cloud of pepper spray.
9.
10.
I am 5’1″ and 103 pounds. You know, petite and small, easy to grab. My dad told me when I was 18, when I was about to be traveling through an airport by myself for the first time, to always appear sure of myself and be aware of my surroundings. Almost 10 years later, this advice has never done me wrong. I walk with my head held high and speed walk.
Even if I think I might be lost or don’t know exactly where I am going or what to do, I don’t make eye contact. I don’t acknowledge in any way when a man is obviously interested in me. Be that cat-calling or just staring at me. I will be as “rude” as I need to be in order to keep myself safe. When I’m alone, all of my senses are tingling, and I’m always prepared for anything. Even if I need to ask for a man’s help for something, I act more confident than I’ve ever been.
11.
12.
Acting hella sick is also a good way to get a creep to leave you alone (in the scoping-out-potential-victims phase only, that is). Like just start having a sneezing/coughing fit, and don’t be afraid to look gross. Actually, make sure to look gross.
13.
Look for cans behind your tire when walking up to your car. Hiding one back there is a good way to get you to step out of your car while it’s unlocked and running because the sound is alarming and people get out to check their tires. I’ve read about this tactic being used to steal cars and/or kidnap people.
14.
15.
Was once walking in a new city for the first time and a stranger asked me for directions. As I was about to inform him I was not familiar with the area, my aunt interrupted me — giving him the directions. After he walked away I asked her how she knew where that was, as it was her first time in the city too. She said she didn’t — she made it up. Never admit that you don’t know where you are.
Has anything similar ever happened to you? How did you react? What women’s safety tips do you have?
Subscribe to our podcast on Spotify or Apple podcasts to enjoy our best stories and give a real treat to your ears.
zi ang